Tuesday, March 4, 2008

More on the National Gladiator League

Ok so I first introduced the NGL in my post about pancakes and babies. I spoke to a few people who agreed that it would be awesome. Here is the layout.

We will start with 12 teams. Like the NBA there would be an Eastern Conference and Western Conference. They would use NFL stadiums and would be affiliated with NFL teams. The founding teams would be:

WESTERN CONFERENCE
Glendale Gladiators (Glendale, Arizona, University of Phoenix Stadium): The Super Bowl was there this year. Remember how the half time show sucked a big fat one? The halftime show could have been the Glendale Gladiators against 10 lucky spectators.
Oakland Imperials (Oakland, California, McAfee Coliseum):
You can't tell me those overweight middle aged Raider fans who dress up in black and silver to football games wouldn't love this.
Houston Spartans (Houston, Texas, Reliant Stadium): There would obviously need to be a team called the Spartans. The players would do a Spartan war cry. Imagine the merchandise that would be made. An action figure that has a button that you press and it yells "THIS IS SPARTA!"
Hawaiian Kumu Nui (ʻAiea, Hawaii, Aloha Stadium): In Hawaiian it means the Hawaiian Coconut Trees.
Mile High Executioners (Denver, Colorado, Invesco Field at Mile High)
Seattle Caesars (Seattle, Washington, Qwest Field)


EASTERN CONFERENCE
New York Romans (East Rutherford, New Jersey,
Giants Stadium): Just like other New York franchises they would play in Jersey.
White House Rebels (Washington D.C., FedExField): The President would have season tickets. Congress would attend matches when they are not passing bills.
Guantánamo Bay Terrorists (Guantánamo Bay, Cuba): A stadium would need to be built of course but the player pool would be a large one. All the prisoners there should be doing something, am I right?
Philadelphia Quakers (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Lincoln Financial Field): The stadium already has a holding cell. Philly fans are barbaric assholes, they will love this.
Detroit Ligers (Detroit, Michigan, Ford Field): Breeding ligers for the games would be great. The motor industry is based in Detroit so they could make a lot of vehicles for matches. Detroit is also a city with a lot of crime. Crime = more players.
Boston Greeks (Foxboro, Massachusetts, Gillette Stadium): The Jets-Patriots rivalry will now extend to Romans-Greeks.

The season will consist of 16 games. You would play teams in your conference twice and teams in the other conference once. The top 2 from each conference would go to the playoffs. E1 vs. E2 and W1 vs. W2 in the first round. Winners meet in a final.

Each team would consist of 10 players and 5 animals. You would get points by killing people. You could also make people surrender. The crowd would do thumbs up or down to decide people's fate.

This could become an international sport. If it does well in the States (which it will) then NGL Europe would start. One day a World Cup could start.

This would help solve overcrowding prisons and it would make a LOT of money. Every team would sell out, trust me. League expansion would be done in the future.

What do you think?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like it. as long as new york wins all of the time